In a nutshell:
Young, male, very good-looking, and modest, too. Lives in Manchester, Great Britain.
"Born from some mother's womb, just like any other room" at the end of October. You are more than welcome to send gifts in celebration of this, or indeed at any time. A list of suitable items can be found on Amazon, for this purpose.
~ P. T. Barnum
It's Linguascelesta. L-I-N-G-U-A-S-C-E-L-E-S-T-A. That said, if you type it in incorrectly in Google, it now corrects you, and says: Did you mean "Linguascelesta"? So you have no excuse. The next mission is to get the name included in MS Word's default spelling dictionary.
The name is actually derived from two Latin words that have been agglutinated. The two words are "lingua", "tongue", and "scelestus", "wicked". The ending of "scelestus" changes from "-us" to "-a" because "lingua" is grammatically a feminine noun, and adjectives' flexions mutate to agree with nouns in Latin.
So "Linguascelesta" means "Wickedtongue". It was chosen for quite a host of reasons.
* Pride motivates Linguascelesta because it is one of the foremost of his sins. He is proud of himself, and likes those associated with him to be proud also. He walks with a confidant stride that has just a hint of a rock star swagger, and likes his greatness to be seen and known. He's a cool cat and he knows it.
* Avarice motivates Linguascelesta because he always wants more. Give him the world, and he'd still want more resources with which to play. Since he was old enough to understand the concept of money, he wanted to be rich enough to buy anything he wanted, without needing to work any more if he didn't want to. Then, he was gathering dreams. Now, he's gathering ideas, and beginning to act upon some of them. Standing on the shoulders of giants, he aims for untold riches, adopting a "get rich slow" forward-planning attitude, while nevertheless keeping a constant eye out for conceptual geese to lay future "golden eggs". He likes the accoutrements of wealth, and is of the opinion that true wealth lies in consumption at least as much as it does in possession, so is relatively free with his money, spending it on whatever makes him happy. He knows that spending too much of what he has will only drive him to earn more, in any case.
* Envy motivates Linguascelesta because he sees what others have, and if he desires it, does not see why he should not have it himself as well. Does he deserve it less than those others? If so, he will work to make himself as deserving of it. If not, he will damn well make sure to get it just as a point of principle. A favourite song of his carries the lines "if I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor", and Linguascelesta marks the truth of this. He grew up in a small run-down out-of-town council estate, living in a terraced house with his single mother who subsisted on state benefits. Winning a scholarship to a top-class private school, he spent time around friends from vastly different financial backgrounds, and saw a different world. From there, via homelessness (an epic adventure and a longer story than this page warrants), he has clawed his way into living in stylish city centre apartments, with well-paid jobs and business ventures, and is now working his way up and up and up. An ex-girlfriend of his grew up in a country mansion and is the heiress to the largest contracting group of its kind in the world, and Linguascelesta intends to be a lot better "set up" than her by the time she inherits her due.
* Wrath motivates Linguascelesta because there are those who have wronged him who have accomplished their own measure of success in their otherwise miserable lives, and Linguascelesta has every intention of out-doing them, just for the "Ha, look at me now, and look at you" value. As a certain wise philosopher said, "sometimes the best revenge one can have on one's enemies is simply to live well". Linguascelesta raises a cup of tea to that.
* Lust motivates Linguascelesta because he knows if he wants to satiate all his carnal desires, he'll need to have more to bring to the table. Sure, his seduction skills are renowned, and he has achieved much in this field, and gets more or less what he wants with more or less any person with whom he wants it. But "more or less" isn't good enough, and Linguascelesta always wants better. Incidentally, if you're a good looking and very submissive female, between five and six thirty on the clock, looking for a lowly life of servitude (sexual and domestic), then Linguascelesta may have a position for you sometime soon.
* Gluttony motivates Linguascelesta because he does love fine cuisine, ranging from top class restaurants around the world, to delicious home-cooked food, to take-away fish and chips on a cold evening.
* Sloth motivates Linguascelesta because if there's a hard way and an easy way of doing the same thing, he'll usually go for the easy way. Sometimes it's necessary to work "smarter, not harder", and Linguascelesta is all in favour of that.
Linguascelesta's occupation changes so frequently as to make putting it here an invitation to more work in having to update this section so regularly.
Linguascelesta is somewhat mercenary in his work situation, and will always ditch something for something better, if a better thing comes along. He also has trouble making his mind up regarding what constitutes a good thing in one's working environment, and changes career tracks pretty frequently as a result.
This does mean he has by now acquired quite a wide range of experience, however, having worked in a fair number of industries at various levels, including but not limited to having worked in a bookshop, having done freelance web design, having been a soldier in the Parachute Regiment, having been a care assistant looking after adults with physical and mental disabilities, having done translating and interpreting, having done telephone based sales, having done private language tuition for rich clients, having been a debt management advisor, having done face to face sales and direct marketing, having worked in PR and advertising, having worked for an exam board, and various other bits and bobs. He's always on the look-out for some new challenge.
Linguascelesta's interests include good food and drink, good music, languages, travel, and martial arts. He travels all over Europe, and occasionally further afield. Loves immersing himself in foreign cultures.
Linguascelesta's musical tastes are eclectic and range from classical to rock, yet are decidedly discerning all the same.
See the "Projects" page of this website for an overview of some of the things with which Linguascelesta is entertaining himself at the moment, or has been recently!
Primary school - Linguascelesta went to a small impoverished state school, and most of his few contemporaries are now in prison.
Secondary school - Linguascelesta won a scholarship to a top-class private school, and excelled in most academic areas, effortlessly achieving A*s in examinations (languages, philosophy, psychology, and suchlike); largely ignoring certain other areas and scraping Bs (sciences, mathematics). Mind you, this was in the olden days when those grades still meant something, before everything was dumbed down to the point of hilarity.
University - Linguascelesta decided that he could go to a traditional university, get a degree and a whole lot of debt, and no experience, or he could do a degree chiefly by correspondence, get a degree just the same, and work for experience and money at the same time. He decided upon the latter. The application to Oxford was never sent off, and one to the Open University was sent in its stead. He graduated with a BA (hons), and is working on an MA currently.